That infidelity has become quite common a
phenomenon in the contemporary Kenyan society cannot be gainsaid. And the
reasons for unfaithfulness are as many and as varied as the individuals
entangled in the deceitful web of the vice. However, just because there are
reasons endeavoring to explain away infidelity does not make it right. It is
imperative to note from the outset that unfaithfulness is wrong, immoral and has
no justification whatsoever. Discovered or not, the impacts of infidelity are
devastating and detrimental to the wellbeing of any relationship.
That
said, Kenyan men may cheat for a variety of reasons. One of the many reasons
why ‘mpango wa kando’ syndrome is rampant in Kenya includes peer
pressure and influence. As they say, show me your friends, and I will tell
you who you are. The kind of crowd a man swings with greatly influences and
tinkers his moral fiber and mannerisms. If his friends subscribe to the school
of thought that believes in stringing along more than one sexual partner at a
time, then no doubt the man is bound to find himself conforming to such
behavior in order to fit in with the ‘boys’.
Another reason why Kenyan men cheat on their partners
is due to drug and alcohol influence.
That Kenyan men are known for their unrivalled love of the bottle is
an open secret. And when a man is under the influence of drugs or alcohol,
his moral inhibitions may get lowered as his good judgment gets impaired. The
outcome of this reasoning impairment may in the long run result in the man
unwittingly partaking in casual sexual encounters or one night stands with
someone other than his partner; an act they may come to regret later.
Low
self-esteem is
also another of the reasons why Kenyan men cheat on their spouses. Some men
with low self esteem stemming from issues to do with lack of money or physical
appearance inadequacies may consider sexual encounters with countless partners
a great boost to their wavering male ego. Such men may find it difficult to
resist sexual advances from women as such advances inevitably makes them feel
great. This may also be his way of trying to prove his manhood and to be all
macho to the outside world. Every time he a man with low self esteem wins
another woman, he believes himself a conqueror.
Because
their women let them,
some men in Kenya cheat on their partners safe in the knowledge that the women
in their lives are either too forgiving or willing to put up with his cheating
ways and will have them back no matter what they do. Believe it or not, there
are women who will stomach literally anything from a man. Knowing that he can
get away with infidelity propels a man not to think twice about banging the
next skirt wearer that crosses his path. He does as he pleases because the
woman in his life does not hold him to account for his actions.
Other
men do it for the adventure and thrill of the chase and of getting caught.
For these kinds of men, the adrenaline rush derived from the adventures of
chasing after a new skirt in town is quite a motivating factor. Add to this to
the prospect of getting caught while chasing after and doing an illicit affair
and this kind of man is perpetually hooked. The thrill for such men may also be
propelled by the need to feel what it is to have sex with another woman other
than their partner.
Revenge might be less common a
phenomenon in the world of men but still, some type of men may get driven into
the arms of another lover through the desire to punish their partner for
cheating on them. For such men, tit for tat is fair game and an eye for an eye
is the motto they live by. This they do to spite their women, make them jealous
and feel the pain being cheated on.
Long
distance relationships
are another factor that may cause infidelity. Where partners work or live in
different and distant towns or countries, the man, having gone for a long
period of time without having sex, may find himself seeking sexual solace from
someone else. Men are especially known to feel like ‘exploding’ after going
through weeks without sexual relief. Some men may also exploit the opportunity
presented by long distance relationships to start an illicit affair. To such
men, living miles apart means that the wife or girlfriend may not be in a
position to closely monitor and deter his clandestine activities giving him
ample opportunity to entertain female guests even in their marital house.
For
some type of men in Kenya, cheating occurs because it is an unintentional
opportunity that presented itself on a silver platter. Opportunistic sexual
encounter most often happens without the man planning to be unfaithful. For one
reason or the other, he finds himself alone in the company another (willing)
woman and in an environment free of disruption or discovery, some men will grab
at such opportunity out of impulse.
Permissiveness of the Kenyan society is also
another reason why its men folk go astray. The Kenyan society barely frowns
upon a man for having multiple sexual partners. Because society conveniently
closes it eyes to the philandering ways of a man, and because we are living in
a society where good role models are hard to come by, a society where fathers
and uncles and all sorts of leaders have been caught doing it, young Kenyan men
are especially likely to follow suit.
Other
men are sex addicts while others are serial cheats by nature. The fact remains
that there are numerous reasons why Kenyan men cheat on their partners. In
conclusion, it is also worth noting that some men may cheat due to a
combination of one or more of the factors explained above.
