Who’s the best bet for Homa Bay Governorship in 2017?

With the beginning of the first phase of mass voter registration on 15^th February by the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission, the usual Kenyan political game of musical chairs in readiness for the 2017 general elections are about to begin in earnest. Kenyans are about to be treated to yet another theater of the absurd as whimsical defections and decamping, re-branding, alignments and realignments occur. Politicians who have hitherto been arch-rivals are about to make strange bedfellows and brand themselves the ‘new’ agents of change. New here simply means recycled!

 

Like everywhere else, the lakeside county of Homa Bay has seen, and will see characters ‘swallow saliva’ for the county’s top political seat with the gluttony akin to that of the hyena. Before the tempos reach fever pitch in the kitchen of politics, allow me to attempt a sneak peek into the cassocks of the folks who have, or are likely to develop a craving for the gubernatorial seat of Homa Bay County.

Cyprian Awiti

Cyprian Awiti

Straight away, I will take a shot at the incumbent, lest I be found guilty breaching matters protocol. Akuba deserves the first mention, don’t you know that ‘rabolo idho tek?’ Having savoured the strappings of money, power and privileges that come appended, training Omieri the snake to speak would be a lot easier than convincing JaMawego to bow out of the race!

Whenever Akuba sways and swivels on his expensive leather seat in his office, he should know that like most residents, I put him there. I voted for him even before laying eyes on him. Ber koso ok ber!? So hold your vile tongue before accusing me of ‘beating’ Awiti. If you do, I could sue you for libel or something. I, too, have my team of expensive non-existent lawyers you know!

Back in 2013, Cyprian Awiti was the new synonym for jagedo – the ‘builder’ or engineer if you like. Straight from the echelons of an international NGO, most of us naively believed he would live up to this title. But alas! Two years into his tenure, the synonym changed from jagedo to Mr. Launcher!

For reasons that are only known to him, like Mbuta takes to the fresh waters of Lake Victoria, the ‘builder’ took to merely launching multi-million projects without bothering to follow through with their implementation. Donated ambulances are launched! Donated equipment is launched! Even new employees get launched! I mean, the national government, the private sector and the NGOs employ new personnel all the time, but we never see them ‘launch’ new recruits!

While the industrious are laying good foundations, Awiti seems content to belong to the Extraordinary League of Governors (in)famous for purchasing ‘non-carcinogenic wheelbarrows’ at mindboggling prices, building gates ‘worth’ 7 million shillings, contracting the opening of Facebook accounts at 2 million shillings and renovating a single building at 40 million shillings!

I hear they also say his sleep is too precious to be ‘slept’ (is that English?) in Homa Bay and (like a boy with no simba) he has to commute daily - at the tax-payers’ expense - to ‘chase’ sleep in Kisumu. But that’s them saying, not me! So don’t put words in my mouth.

To be fair though, if you chance upon street lights painted white, yellow, green and blue in Homa Bay, credit them to his name! Also, if you see farming tractors, originally intended for farmers in each sub county, but now literally monopolized by well-connected entities, tribute those to his name too.

To stop myself from mentioning the many phantom (or are they white elephant?) projects, I will end there. Now, the only headache between Jamawego and re-election is the ODM nomination certificate. If he secures that, he’s home free for a second term!

Phillip Okundi

Phillip Okundi

Not much has been politically heard about this man ever since suffering a resounding defeat in the Homa Bay Senatorial by-election in the county. But that was to be expected. Most voters in this region are yet to develop an open mind about electing a candidate who does not religiously invoke the name of ODM and Raila. I do not know if Okundi is still interested in this seat. But, you never know with these politicians! They refuse to retire from politics even when they’re repeatedly trounced! But even if he does, I think the old geezer lacks the vibrancy and spirit of youthfulness to lead this beautiful county. However, that should not deter you from voting for him; old age comes with wisdom which is good for leadership.

Enosh Bolo

Enosh Bolo

I do not know much about this gentleman. No scratch that! I do not know anything about him at all. So I may not be much of an encyclopaedia on him. Not now anyway. Later, I might get a chance meeting and know him, who knows? But, I hear he is a resident of Kanyada. Not that his area of locality matters! When you know zilch about someone, you cover it up with things as trivial as gik ma kamago! Kwani what do you expect me to write about him?

My not knowing him however may yet be his downfall in his quest to govern Homa Bay. And, that there is a call to his PR handlers to up their publicity game. Please tell them not to feel insulted; I’m giving them free advice and their candidate free publicity! I’m generous like that! Meanwhile, like most politicians, this guy is ‘digital’ enough to scrounge some form of social media presence. His Facebook profile boasts of quite a colorful education and professional backgrounds. OK, I have run out of things to say about Bolo!

Oyugi Magwanga

Oyugi Joseph Magwanga

And here comes the man who has been a lawmaker for Kasipul Kabondo constituency since 2007. If his enthusiastic Facebook fans are to be believed, he is also salivating for the gubernatorial seat. Somewhat, the legislator comes with uniquely envious track record. The National Board of Constituency Development Fund (CDF) named him among the top three Members of Parliament with the best implementation, management and accountability of the development funds allocated to them in 2014/2015 financial year. Now, that is a no-mean feat to achieve; especially by an MP from the Luo Nyanza region. But he did it!

That out of the 290 parliamentarians, Magwanga chose to utilize his CDF allocations not only prudently but accountably as well is something worth writing about. With the propensity to mismanage CDF funds for personal gains synonymous with Kenyan politicians, renowned singer Emma Jalamo and Lady Maureen should collaborate on a song to crown Magwanga’s audacity to develop his constituency rather than fatten his own pot-belly!

Knowing the people of Homa Bay, I will say this cautiously, almost in a whisper; Magwanga is a good bet! However, in a region where sycophancy overshadows the need for issue-based politics, only a handful will actually care about his development mindedness. Not to worry though, he can as well chorus ‘Raila-ODM’ song and get elected.

Sam Wakiaga

Wakiaga Sam

Here is a guy who has always piqued my interest. With an uncanny ability of making sure his name does not appear on the ballot papers, one would think he has an allergy to the ballot box. They say he is always a threat before the actual elections. His image however fails to appear on the ballot papers in the last minute. Now, why would he do that – raise our hopes higher than Got Asego only to magically disappear at the last minute?

Now I hear he is the one to dislodge Awiti from power. Mara they say he is also dripping saliva for the Senatorial seat of Homa Bay. How he has the stomach to swallow two saliva(s) when his name may not end up on the ballot papers is an enigma only bang smokers can unravel! But, do not write him off yet, they say he has deep pockets and can sponsor and sustain the entire ODM campaign. Again, that’s what they, not me, say!

Fred Rabong'o

And lastly, there is my good friend Fred Rabong’o. Don’t take my word for it; the guy does not know my name, let alone being friends with me! Our friendship is more of me voting for him in the last Homa Bay Senatorial by-elections. Which he – not we - lost! Terribly! I say he lost because he wanted to be a senator, which he did not, while I voted for him (my candidate of choice) and so I won! But well, what can we say? Kama sio yako, sio yako, hata na bangi!

I hope in his new quest, he does not repeat the same gaffe he did on national television. During the campaign periods, he maintained an issue-based and non-personal approach to politics. Later, in a debate aired on television, he ganged up with other aspirants in attacking the then ODM candidate! While the ODM candidate surprisingly maintained his cool and intelligently answered questions directed at him, Rabongo lost his usual cool and gabbled some gibberish. Maybe it was the TV cameras. They could’ve given him the hibby jibbies! Nonetheless, he’s a well-articulated guy!