Father Or Dad: What’s The Difference?

As quiet and as undramatic as it always is, Father’s Day came and went without much fanfare. Like most men, I did not wish any of the numerous fathers and father figures I know a Happy Father’s Day! Hell, I didn’t even take the time off my not-so-busy schedule to recognize my own old man on the day that [great] fathers are supposed to be celebrated.

 
This should not be taken to mean that my father is any less of a man. If you were hoping for a heart-wrenching sob story of how my father was a perpetual drunk and a wife-kiang’owa-go, my ‘fren’ you will wait longer than the Zimbabweans have waited for Mugabe to die! Otiu II is a King in capital letters! The wife-snatching, husband-killing SOB they call King David in the Bible does not even come close! My father deserves acres and acres of praise and recognition; I doubt if the acres of land grabbed by one Arap Sigh would adequately accommodate the narrative of his accomplishments. But I digress!

It comes as no surprise at all that I too did not receive much in the form of gifts or recognition on the day that some fathers are celebrated [mostly on the social media] while others are admonished for allegedly skipping town after donating sperm. OK, I would be lying through the teeth to say I was not recognized. A couple of messages from two friends - one, a father himself – and a great one at that – simply stated “Happy Father’s Day” and another from a female friend said "Happy fathers day, Matokeo" - why she calls me Matokeo is an enigma bigger than Raila.

Now, does it imply that the fathers who received no recognition are ‘bad’ fathers? Well, I don’t know! Ask their wives and children. Better yet, ask the MWKs (Mpango Wa Kawaida) if the wives are not forthcoming!

“Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad!”

Meanwhile there’s this quote about fatherhood that is very common among misguided souls with daddy hangovers who think that there’s supposed to be a difference in meaning between the word ‘father’ and ‘dad,’ – well I’m sorry to say this; you’re dead wrong! Err, you may not be actually dead, but you're still wrong!

Let us dissect the word father. According to those good folks who manufacture English at Oxford, father as a noun means ‘a male parent of a child or an animal or a person who is acting as the father to a child’ while as a verb, it means ‘to become the father of a child by making a woman pregnant’. How about ‘dad’? The same English minting fellows from Oxford define the word dad simply as father! In other words, father is dad and dad is father! It matters little if they donated sperm and did a runner or stayed around to perform their parental roles; they are still father or dad!

As alien as the English word is to some of us, it does not require Willis the Word Master to tell you that saying “anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad” is the same as saying “anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a father” or “anyone can be a dad, but it takes someone special to be a dad!”

Just because one is imbued with affectionate feelings or drunk in love with their male parent and uses the title ‘dad’ does not mean it has a different meaning from the word father. While some people find the title ‘dad’ to be very endearing, others equally find ‘father’ lovable as well! For example, where I come from, dad is an outlandish title. We just call my old man baba or any such endearing nicknames like ‘jaduong’ or ‘ondiek’ – titles that would make others arch their eyebrows.

And perhaps to show you how asinine the feminist quote above is, try this for a change; “Anyone can be a mother, but it takes someone special to be a mom!”

Over and Out!